The art of knowing when to trust

The art of knowing when to trust Share

What I’m about to explain is something you already know, however, it is kept hidden until heard. Most times we find ourselves saying “I don’t know or I have no clue” but after an answer to an issue or situation is given we say “I knew that or I can’t believe it was that simple”. Often times the answer is right there before us, but our minds are clogged with the things of the world, even the simplest of things we are unable to see or understand. Let me ask you this simple question and take a minute to think about your answer if needed. How do you know when to trust a man or women you are dating? Well most people don’t know the answer, but for those who do, I would be interested in hearing what your thoughts are. Now, I’ll be explaining the secret of trusting, but before I do, I want you to clear your mind and put on your reasoning/thinking cap.

How do you know your reflection when you look in the mirror to comb your hair or put some clothing on? Before you look in the mirror you have already trusted it’s your own reflection you’ll be seeing, but how did you know that? What if you look in the mirror and you saw your friend’s reflection instead. Well you’ll say “of course that will never happened”, but you had “trust” that it would be your image before you look because as long as you knew yourself you have never seen another image but your own. Well trust is similar, and I say similar because as my critiques by now would have it, human beings are ever changing and not stagnant. You change your mind about going to the movies, buying a phone, leaving your house, eating at a particular restaurant and so on. However, while this may be true, there is one thing that makes a man trustworthy and that is “his word”.

Word is use to deceive and manipulate but it’s also use to determine if one is trustworthy. Now let me get down to what you really want to hear and by now “asking me to get to the point”. Signs of untrustworthy Persons: Most of the times unable to make up their mind, makes lots of excuses, always try to build a truth out of a lie, changes their minds often, trust themselves more than they trust God, they don’t accept being wrong, love to brag and exalt themselves and bored easily with anyone, always seeing a need to venture into something new. Just like a lizard takes the colour of a tree, so is their decisions, ever changing. They are unpredictable, and anything that cannot be predicted cannot be controlled, and anything cannot be controlled, cannot be known, and anything that cannot be known, cannot be trusted. If you don’t know someone, your trust cannot be given.

The real question is, why do you give your trust to the wrong persons? Some persons go into a relationship blindly, while others already knew what they were getting themselves into. For those who already knew what they were getting themselves into had done it out of personal reasons they may deem as being justified on a 50% chance they may find happiness, change the person or “fill a gap”. Whatever their reasons are, one still end up getting hurt. For those who honestly didn’t know what they were getting themselves into, these are the signs to watch out for which is totally different from the ones given before as these were meant to deceive you, while the others were meant for your stage of denial. There are two stages you go through before you are betrayed, the stage deceit and the stage of denial. The stages of deceit are the sweet words use to tingle your ears while the stage of denial is realizing that you made a mistake but convince yourself things will get better. These are the signs of deceit: slightly lick their lips in the depth of the conversation, meaning just when they see you looking like you are “weak to their words”, continuous direct eye contact as this is a way to show self assurance and boldness, runs friendly insulting jokes, jokes that are not really meant to tear you down, rather to fill the dead air while gaining control of the conversation, speaks smoothly without stumbling, show there is no need to be nervous, “been here, done this before, just a matter of time before I have you where I want you”, while some of these may not be totally bad attribute as it can be deem as normal in a relationship but the untimely manner on a first date is utterly inappropriate, and thus, carried across as a deceit.

Now! How do you know a trust worthy person; these are the signs: does everything possible to live up to their word, even if it means taking them out of their comfort zone, finds it hard to tell a lie, maintain being polite in a impolite situation, sacrifice when there is a need to put others first before themselves, always show up on time unless hindered otherwise(a way of showing respect to others is being on time), admits easily when they are wrong, not afraid to apologize, prefers to see the best in someone than the worst, not afraid to trust( normally people who can’t be trusted find it hard to trust anyone) and fears God. On a dating scenario, these are the signs: shows up on time, takes care of all the financial expenses (showing that he is a gentleman and takes care of business when it’s within his power to do so), doesn’t make continuous eye contact but does intermittently in the midst of your conversation to show that he respects and cares for you, reveals a bit of nervousness through his body language (this shows that he has you in high regards and not just there to see how fast he can get you into bed), talks about himself less and allow you to voice your opinion without interrupting, not afraid to talk about having a family in the future (shows that he is the type of guy who is not afraid to settle down), and finally doesn’t feel insulted if he is not being kiss on the first date as he see your need to make him respect you and not think it’s a “easy street”.

In my conclusion, while many may be attracted to the bad boy type or the type that just knows how to string one smooth word after the other and have you flowing his way, it’s safe to say, just like a man that has to accept a women he loves with a child that isn’t his, so does the trouble, stress and adversities comes with that type (bad boy/smooth talker), it’s all a part of the package. Feel free to voice your opinions and I hope this had shed some light on the topic of trust within a relationship, and overall a trustworthy person.